New $3 Reward – Linear Thinkers in a Non-Linear Universe (from my Patreon page)

I uploaded a jpeg version of Linear Thinkers in a Non-Linear Universe for my $3 a month patrons (my Patreon page ).  Here is what I wrote:

 

“Here is the planet, nebula, moon, and spaceship painting in a downloadable jpeg format.  This was supposed to be just a quick speed paint of a planet that took on a life of its own.  It should make a pretty good wallpaper.”

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By the Horns (from my Patreon page)

 

I have been focusing on the rider and bull mostly at this point because the background has really clicked into place.  Interesting story about this and my last two paintings.  As I mentioned before, I am a slow, methodical painter who does not plan out a lot of aspects to the finished image from the beginning.  Unfortunately, many times I run into roadblocks when trying to fit one part of a painting into another.  From my first post about this painting you can see that I had the bull started and not much else because I still had no idea what I wanted for a background.  It had to be hellish of course, but how do you do that and make it believable that someone is riding a bucking bull through it.

Well, you can see that I had made a start on the upper half then hit a wall.  I could not see how to bring the floor out from the great background I had created.  I could not see how the two areas fit together, so I stopped.  I literally closed the file and quit painting.  Of course, this was also the time I was dealing with a ridiculous amount of stress from work, which may have been affecting my efforts.   The more pertinent fact though was a lack of professional training.  I never learned how to discipline myself to work on images, usually waiting for inspiration to drive me into a frenzy of creativity.

Then I lost my job and my way for a bit.  I had all kinds of time on my hands but no idea what to do with it.  Because I don’t have an entertainment package, I watch a lot of YouTube videos.  Luckily, I watched a video on, I think, the difference between professional and amateur writers.  The big difference the video pointed out is that professionals don’t sit and wait for inspiration.  If they are stuck, they still make themselves work on something for the project and trust that the process will help them find the inspiration.  In other words, they keep moving.  At this point I had three projects that had frozen up on me because they had overwhelmed me, Rodeo, Linear Thinkers in a Non-Linear Universe, and Termanicz.  All partially finished but out of ideas.  I decided to try the YouTube method out.

You can see that I have found some success.  Both Termanicz and Linear Thinkers in a Non-Linear Universe are done and I have made great strides on Rodeo.  I hope to continue in this vein so I can produce more quality work per year than I have ever done before.  So far, Rodeo is turning out way better than I imagined it could.  If you have trouble completing projects, consider trying this method and letting the process of working free up the inspiration.

Update on Me

Okay, so tomorrow will be the first day in years that I have no need to be anywhere that has nothing to do with vacations, holidays, or health reasons.  It has been somewhat of a challenging weekend working through the stress, anger, and bitterness of what my company has put me through the past several years, which has taken quite the toll on my physical and mental well being.  The sad part is that I believe for a vast majority of the America middle class, what I endured is not the exception but the norm.  I may post my thoughts about this soon once I have processed it all.

I will say that I have tried to keep myself busy physically to help run some of the steam out of me.  By Saturday, I began to realize, that although this was a shitty thing to have done to me, it may have been for the best.  I understood this as my heart was thumping wildly and my head was spinning.  A few extra trips to the bathroom also highlighted the point.  I was a tangled mess from trying to make unrealistic goals into reality, while the compensation for this tightrope juggling act was actually shrinking every time I looked.

While I had just been given a raise last year, the first in ten years and small at that, my medical package had increased sharply and I had just lost a significant part of my auto allowance.  I have been eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and buttered noodles for most of my meals along with having no entertainment packages other than netflix streaming for the past two years and I even dropped that.  I now only watch youtube videos and the occasional $5 dvd I allow myself to buy.  Eating out was a 4 for $4 Wendy’s meal that I got medium sized for $5, that didn’t happen that much.  I have been giving my company good hard work just so I could be poor.

I don’t totally blame them for that because I stayed out of comfort.  I have no desire to be a manager, which is the only way to make any more money in a company like mine.  As far as I can see, the small amount of money I would have gotten would not have compensated me for the BS I would have had to deal with and shovel.  In addition, I would not have lasted long.  I am not the type to quietly accept stupid ideas or out and out lying.  I tend to tell you how I see things whether you like it or not.  The only reason I lasted as long as I did through the last two years of idiotic changes was that my immediate boss did not pass along my questioning of the effectiveness, accuracy, and practicality of the information given to the sales force.  It needed to be said but the truth is, as in most cases, no one upstairs wanted to hear it.  Think of Wells Fargo. Anyway, I just wanted to do a good job and get a non-poverty wage, but for a lot of the middle class, this is asking too much these days.  Sad!

So, in the end, I was fighting to keep a job that was making me poor; ruining my mental, moral, and physical health; and trying to point out glaring rose colored issues to people wearing thick rose colored glasses had no worth.  I think this needed to happen for me, piss on them.  I gave them good work for most of my 16 years with them.  Not always but more often than not, even when they screwed me over royally.  The funny thing is, I used to wonder how sales reps. in my line of work could sit in their cars and pretend to actually do the job, wonder how they could fudge the work they were doing.  Now I know.  The system breaks them down.  Rocking the boat is rewarded with a quick slap of the paddle.  Bad ideas are bullied through by people that don’t have to do the work and can avoid the consequences.

So, how am I doing?  Scared, but okay so far.  I have some plans running in my head, some you may be able to help with others not.  I am taking some time to pick up the pieces that this ridiculous situation has scattered throughout my life.  I am looking at my options and hoping to find some time to do art because I deserve it.  Hopefully I will have something for you soon.  Peace.

 

 

Is it a Repeat, Is it a Political Post, or Is it Other (from my Patreon page)

“I was talking to a co-worker the other about healthcare in the US. He understands the issues but he took exception to a statement some on the left used. They said that “healthcare is a right”. His point is that no one is borne with a God given medical team at their service, which is true. No doctor was born specifically to take care if me. Hell, Adam and Eve were supposedly the only humans alive, where was their HMO.

At the time, I had no argument for this because he was right. Too often loud mouths on the left and right spout things off as being God given rights without understanding that what they call a right is a product of civilization and governmental abilities to enforce them.

So my answer now would be, no, healthcare is not a right, but it should be. That is what civilization and government is about. Too bad the greedy one percent has subverted the roles of both to mean supporting only them.”

When I finish this post, it will also be posted to my facebook page where I wrote and posted the above quote originally.  So is it a repeat?  Well, yes and no, because the intention of this post is to expand on the ideas in a similar yet different way.  Now looking at the content of the above quote, you would be led to believe this post is a political one.  Well, again, the answer is yes and no.  Yes, this is something I believe and feel that America should really think about.  No, I am not including the quote in this post mainly for that reason.  The correct answer is actually other.

I am including this quote because I want the followers of my artwork and writing to see what makes it up.  The above quote gives them a view of how I think and reason, as well as, what I value.  I admit that I have been thinking of starting a separate blog for my thoughts on politics, religion, and science; however, a part of me thinks that would be lying or hiding to or from my followers.  The truth is what you see in my art and writing is derived from my 51+ years of being on this earth.  All the views that were forced upon me before I was old enough to build my own, all the views I have since developed, and all the views I have gained from forces beyond my control are all a part of my creations.

My works are an amalgamation of the history I learned and the history I experienced.  They reflect the views I created from my formal education in history as an American and the views that grew from learning the truth behind the public histories that was swept away or covered up because the picture was unflattering.  My works contain derivations from daily life experiences that show the reality I see as opposed to the fiction displayed and worshiped by the masses.  They also contain things that fascinate me, catch my eye, or make me laugh.  My creations are full of the absurd, the beautiful, and the evil.  They are criticisms, warnings, and hopes all wrapped up in one.

So, the true reason of this post is to share what makes me, me and what makes my creations what they are.  I want to share all that goes into my works, even the whining you see on occasion.  Yes, I am aware that my pleas for patrons to My Patreon Page at times are very whiny in nature but there are reasons.  First, I am desperately unhappy in the job I am doing now.  Not that the work is that difficult other than the shear volume of it, but more for the fact that it wears on my moral fiber and is so mismanaged that I am often frustrated.  In addition, financially, I am sliding backwards.  That is why I am trying so hard to bring my creativity to the fore in a way that I can feel good about and hopefully become my livelihood.   Second, when you see my whinier posts understand that I am at my lowest ebb.  Either work issues, physical pain, financial woes, and/or frustration have combined to cause me to despair for my future and you are getting the overflow, sorry about that.  Finally, all of the above also becomes part of my creations.  Contrary to what some fans would like their favorite creators to do, we do not live in vacuums, separated from the rest of the world.  If we did, our collective output would be garbage.

To conclude, I will be posting as much of everything that I think and do on this site as I can.  I suggest that those who are really interested in what I make take a look at the entirety of this blog to see where I have come from and how I look at problems.  That way you will have a richer understanding of my works.  Bones.

Busy (from my Patreon page)

While I have been quiet lately, I have been busy.  I am still working away at the nebula project, which is taking a lot of time because of the detail work on the space ship.  Not only am I working on adding detail, but I am also fixing the perspective issues most of the aztec designs in the paint job.  Given the number of shade changes there, it has been a huge task.  I think the space ship alone will take as long as the entire background to finish.

Ship Yard Report (from my Patreon page)

 

Still working away at the spaceship and it is coming along.  Most of the hull is covered and I started putting more detail in place.  Also, I colored in one of the engine squares a bit more, still need to play with it some.