Here is one men don’t talk about.

I am currently reading “The End of Sparta” by Victor Davis Hanson and I am at a point where I am dealing with graphic scenes.  One of the lead female characters is captured by a ruthless Spartan former slave who has no compunction about capturing, raping, and killing women.  As a human being I am disgusted by such callous treatment of anyone, but especially women.  Unfortunately, I also have to face my own inner demon of lust as I read these scenes.  I find myself turned on by the nudity and sexual descriptions.  Thus, on one hand I am disgusted, while on the other hand, my libido is highly active.  Until recently, I thought it was just me; however, after learning some things, this is actually a problem every man must face daily.  Modern media is full of such content and is a source of pressure for men.

Most can manage the pressure with little damage, while others give in and act on their desires.  I am not saying that women do not have their share of issues with sex but they are different.  What I am trying to say is that man’s libido is a constant source of stress for all men, good and bad alike.  I do not go a day without carrying some guilt for a lustful thought.  This pressure, coupled with the constant interactions of modern society and media, puts a lot of stress on a man even if they don’t or can’t admit it.  Women, by not understanding this simple fact increase the problem.  No matter how hard a man tries to not think about it, sex is on their mind.  By not being open with this fact, society makes the problem worse.  Our close-mouthed way of handling the unstoppable urges that plague man, in my opinion, is the source of many ills in the world.  I posted this entry in an effort to get people to think about the issue.


6 thoughts on “Here is one men don’t talk about.

  1. I think not talking about it does lead to folks thinking there is something wrong with themselves. We are sexual beings, it is natural for men (and women) to have those sorts of feelings and thoughts. But, we have also evolved (socially) beyond giving in to our impulses. I do believe the majority of folks deal with it just fine – but not everyone. Maybe those who don’t need to talk it out, and learn healthy methods of dealing with it.

    As far as enjoying a rape scene in a book…well…might want to talk to your counselor about that!

    But, it is true that a lot of erotic literature has a strong S&M streak. A few months ago, someone on solicited writers for an erotic website. It was a paying market, so I thought I’d check it out. I read one (poorly written) story and was shocked there was some serious violence in the story. It was obviously meant to titillate, but, damn, not in a way I get titillated! For better or worse, violence and sex seemed to intertwined in some of our brains. I’m not sure what the answer is to that.

  2. I agree with your thoughts, but what I am trying to express is the unconcious reaction of a man. I certainly don’t like the thought of rape but the thought of sex, which is inherent in the act, causes a reaction in men, myself included. I am not just talking about rape, but also any and all sexual situations. For good or bad, men are always on. We may deny it, but it is a constant struggle for many men. Some, of course, are better adjusted to deal with the pressure while others are not. The above example was not about being turned on by rape, but instead being turned on in spite of your feelings about the situation.

  3. One thing I tried to express but may have failed at that there may be men out there that actually get tired and frustrated by this aspect of being male. Nothing wrong with sex, but always being on can be annoying and distracting. That was all I wanted to get across that some of the actions of men may be a result of dealing with this constant pressure. Everyone jokes about men and their libidos, but I believe people look at it in a lighter sense than men may actually be experiencing it.

  4. Pingback: Boners as Far as the Eye Can See. | Rob Garbin's Blog

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